Shell's Whatnots

I’ve figured out why it is I feel the way I do about most teens.

They are a reminder to me of the my past, a part of my life I’d like to forget. A part of my life where something so very precious was taken away from me. Taken away without my consent. And I’m the one that felt the blame for something someone else did to me.

Is it fair to these young people that I feel the way I feel towards them? No. I try to suppress it but it’s not always easy. I don’t take my anger out on them. I’m not that kind of person. I’d just rather most of them not be around me.

I was(and still am, at times) in such a hole. A very dark hole. A sad and distant place. I’d cry myself to sleep blaming myself. I was too embarrassed to tell anyone, maybe they’d blame me too.

I hate you for what you took away from me, for what you did to me!! I hate you!

Pardon my ramblings, I just had to get that out.